fuck the s p i r i t of giving .

in my head : slow dancing in a burning room - john mayer

never before have i felt so stupid for wasting all my time and effort to locate the most difficult to find present ever . i feel so dumb for investing so much time and money all to see the look on his face when he got it ( which i didn't even get to see because i was way too fucking excited and blurted it out before i could give it to him in person ) . it's all just so stupid .

i love giving presents . in fact , i would much rather spend on someone else who means so much to me than on myself . i love giving presents because i love the feeling i get when i receive something that i've had my eye on forever or i would never in my life by for myself because it's so ridiculous . i like that someone looked at the gorgeous pair of shoes / bag / whatever-the-fuck-things-i-do-so-enjoy-lusting-after and thought of me ; not only thought of me but thought of me enough to want to get it for me and make me smile . it doesn't even have to be something expensive . it can be chai tow kway from chomp chomp or tow huay from geylang and i would still be fucking happy .

so i take my time to look out for presents and i try my best to know the people in my life ( their likes and dislikes ; sarah likes LV , sam + adri hate LV ) well . so it down right saddens me if i give you something and you tell me : " you shouldn't have spent so much on me . you should save the money and buy something for yourself . " why don't you just take what i give you and donate it to the salvation army ? or better yet , just tell me i'm wasting my time thinking of you and the things you like .

i love my family + friends and all that they do that makes my life so much more memorable . THAT'S why i spend time and money on their presents ; so that they know how much they mean to me .

pictures from the FAILED flea market at the peranakan museum CARPARK . too hot , too sweaty and too empty .